When I look back on my love life, it’s embarrassing!
I somehow managed, in great love ignorance, to have two, not just one, failed marriages, each seven years. When the second marriage ended, I felt like being single again was like a release from prison.
I was in my mid 40’s then and figured that I was a love loser and would be single for the rest of my life. And frankly, at least I knew by then that I would rather be single than ever again live in love misery.
Well, today I’m the happiest married man in the universe, living in daily bliss with my soulmate from heaven, Shannon. What in the world happened?
I’ll tell you what happened. I evolved! In fact, there was no way I would have ever met Shannon had I not evolved in my understanding of love.
So back to the end of my second marriage and being single again. Yes, there was immense emotional freedom from escaping a bad marriage. But there was sadness too. I know I’m a deeply loving person. What didn’t I know about love?
Turns out, I didn’t have love standards. For one, I didn’t love myself enough to be sure that my love relationships consisted of equal giving of love both ways. And that kindness, gentleness, compassion, and spirituality were essential and non-negotiable qualities of love.
This began to dawn on me quietly as I sat alone in my home, single again, not unhappy, but evolving. Then an evolutionary leap occurred within me. I decided, or better to say, my soul decided, that I deserved to be loved just as well as the love I had to give. It was as if my soul said, “This is what you deserve Scotty, and don’t accept less.”
This felt very different. I didn’t even want to date again, but my sense of “love” had dramatically changed within me.
I continued in my occupation as a real estate broker in San Diego, often thinking to myself that I had risen to the top of the wrong occupation. My heart was more engaged in teaching love. Isn’t that funny. Let’s see. I’ve had two divorces, so I’d like to teach love.
Nevertheless, I helped organize an event in Los Angeles called “Living Love,” to help teenagers face their struggles. Now this is key! I was just following my soul passion with absolutely no plan or intention of that leading to a love mate.
Well, that’s where and how I met Shannon. We were both following our soul passion to get closer to love and that’s how we met.
Today we are authors of best-seller, “The Love You Deserve” & write columns on love, like this. That’s what I call love evolution – more like love revolution for me.
So, if you’re not experiencing the love you yearn for, let’s look at this together. My biggest wish is that you experience all love. But what is that?
For many, a hot date and sex with a beautiful man or woman might be all the love that is wanted.
Or, evolving, to share a life with an attractive man or woman that shares mutual interests.
Or evolving, to want to live on the soul path to higher love – a path that leads to soul fulfillment. Just this desire is a massive evolution of love consciousness.
Living on the soulmate path – evolving in love – calls for deep changes.
Even as Shannon I met in rich love and knew we were soulmates, we continued evolving. For example, I learned to love myself a lot more, with Shannon’s insights & compassion. I also learned to listen far more deeply to Shannon’s ideas rather than arguing for mine. Writing books together meant learning how to merge divergent ideas, turn conflicts into peace, & identify love “skills” that moved our relationship higher, not lower.
This is what goes on inside soul love. Both parties want to evolve. That means CHANGE! Both parties want to be the most loving lights possible. These are high desires.
Frankly, without these high soul desires, how could anyone expect to find soulmate love – since this is where it occurs? That means there are things that need to drop away from your life – things that are the opposite of soul love – like mean words, apathy, irritability, even sadness. Is this even possible? Possibility follows desire.
There are two primary ways of advancing – through suffering or through enlightenment. In the first half of my life, I had to learn through suffering. Two failed marriages about did me in emotionally. But my soul was pulling for me to go higher. It was a natural evolution for me because my soul is devoted to love more than anything else. If your soul is devoted to love, this will be the inevitable springboard for your love evolution too.
When you are not looking for something, it often appears. I believe that’s true in love.
When you live in daily agony wondering if you will ever meet your soulmate & churning over and over all that had gone wrong in your love life, love gets stuck. Your soul can’t evolve.
When you release your love outcomes and let yourself live in a constant flow of love, amazing, magical things unfold. Pursuing your deepest soul passion, without the secret intention of this leading to your soulmate, unleashes the full power of your soul to evolve your life. Your soul has much bigger plans for you. As the saying goes, “Want to make God laugh. Just tell Her your plans.”